Too many times since starting here I've found myself thinking that I'm not learning what I thought I'd be learning. Truth is I'm probably also learning things things that I didn't think I'd be learning. (And there is a difference.)
I had a fantastic meeting with a tutor in which I expressed concerns about what I wasn't learning and how it was being presented. I was proud of myself for foregoing the attitude and simply engaging in conversation. Maybe the mistake is mine -- I expected things I shouldn't have expected. So I asked about the intentions. Then I offered my experience and concerns and they were well received, received with gratitude for bringing them forward and a very open mind. I told myself not to expect anything more than getting it off my chest and was rewarded with quite a bit more.
I'm growing up -- slowly but surely -- and hopefully learning to stop, reconsider and talk about things before just being upset or discouraged by them.
One of my colleagues here on the BioSci side of things said that people tell her she complains too much and is too idealistic. I've heard that. I think we need people with ideals because too many of us are complacent. I myself am guilty of complacency and sometimes in the worst ways -- after being outraged by something, deciding not to saying anything and then just taking it (somewhat bitterly) as it is. I don't want to loose my idealism. I want to make it work for me and I want to be in places where it is appreciated and in places that are open to change and working towards an ideal.
It's always difficult to manage disappointment when you go in with expectations. But, I feel that we are taught to be content with discontent. Unlike the Italians or Greeks, we're not grown up to structure and execute proper arguments. Even the word "arguments" has a negative connotation of being confrontational and loud. Or, you come off as a complainer, but maybe because people don't know how to communicate. Or, you're just a whiny ...
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