I am what I eat.

I am celery from Spain, beef from Ireland, orphaned carrots from a plastic lined bin. I am a single green bell pepper chaperoned by two beautiful Israeli red bell peppers; I come from Holland. There's an age difference and we don't speak the same language, but it doesn't matter. I'm a Dutch cucumber portion sweating in a bag. I am authentic Italian penne pasta made in Italy for a British supermarket chain; I am not suitable for microwave. I am imported Parmesan cheese. I am the happy egg company medium, British free range eggs from brown ear-lobed hens. I am of world class quality and grown in environmental and responsible ways. I am the occasional square of Rainforest Alliance Certified chocolate. I am a carefully-selected-from-a-dizzying-amount-of-options, multi-national concoction representing maximum choice on a sliding scale of price and down to earth value. I am red kidney beans in a tin. I am a purloined onion from a bag under the counter (sorry, flatmate). I am half a toasted loaf of Warburton's seeded batch, baked sandwiched between other loafs for extra softness and sprinkled with linseed, millet, poppy, sunflower, and sesame seed. I'm a dash of olive oil spread. I am chunky peanut butter because it's 15 pence cheaper than smooth. I am not a banana due to delays in just-in-time shipments caused by a broken down lorry. I am a big bowl of Halal and Kosher certified Kellogg's Bran Flakes (an extra special treat no longer available in the United States), food of my childhood, drenched in store branch organic unsweetened soy milk at 7:30 every morning and sometimes for dessert. To top it off, I am the better part of 340 grams of Essex-made Tip Tree "Tiny Tip" Raspberry conserve that may or may not have come from berries grown in Essex.